I can’t believe that people put up with me. Please do not use your full name, as it will be displayed. No matter what mean, cruel or hurtful things he says, does or accuses me of, I will not engage." About the Author: Polar Warriors. This sub is a place that people can come for advice or just to vent so that we do not affect our significant others with our emotions. It was hard for me to admit when I was wrong and wound up have several people upset with me. Usually it isn't so much hearing things I didn't say, though that occasionally happens. Spending hours on a video game. 5. Besides living with bipolar disorder, I have a rare genetic disease called Familial Mediterranean Fever (FMF). I left and stayed at my parents after about a month came back home after a long talk about her behaviour Things were okay for about two months then the nastiest in her would come out calling me fat and ugly.She put me in a very bad place and I was piling wait on.I left again and stayed with a friend.The following day my eldest son told me his mum had been on dating sites for years and met up with a man at Eastbourne railway station as he had seen emails.This really hurt as I loved her so much.Again I came home after a long discussion about her behaviour.I also loved my 5 children very much.She was nice to me for wile then the nasty behaviour started again.I sat in the car with her and she looked at me and said I’m glad I met another man and he f—-d me.I felt sick as she was a virgin when I met her and I adored her However, a lot of the things I say to her I really feel. 10. Omg yes my ex had entirely different perception of conversations we had. If I said something remotely critical, such as holding him to doing chores he said he would do, he would get mad. I feel like she should be taking something along with it because she still has a sassy mouth and says hurtful things to people. Also, the person may say and do unusual or hurtful things. Me and my wife is married for over 8 years.She was diagnosed with bp and refused the drink her medication.life have changed.she has a lot of work stress.will come home spend hours also just looking at social media.the problem now is she started to drink.no more feelings and always looking for a argument.never admitting that she is wrong always blaming others people.and work.i am standing in a crossroad point to get n divorce but i know deep down she is a good person. Stigma, no matter where it comes from, is insensitive and dehumanizing. For example, the The weird thing is I still love the person she once was before bipolar took hold of her.She thinks she is normal and bipolar almost makes her feel invincible. If you have bipolar disorder, someone has likely said at least one of these things to you. People with Bipolar Disorder engage in what I consider “serial lying.” However, Bipolar Disorder and lying is a complex and nuanced issue and I hope you will keep reading to discover some of the factors that drive this apparent lack of honesty. They don't listen to others about episodes. I let things go until a few days ago when he said such mean things that I walked out and told him he will never do this again and I never want to see him Mental Health - Bipolar Disorder: Bf's Hurtful Words - Please Help Me I know it’s hard to understand when someone with bipolar is screaming obscenities and saying hurtful things to you, but it’s really not aimed at you in particular. Going on a shopping spree. I know he claimed not to remember things he said/did, and for sure he didn't remember things i said multiple times. Its important to keep in mind that this is the disorder saying or doing hurtful things and not the person who has bipolar. Take it from someone who struggles with bipolar disorder themselves and has had these statements said to them before, saying the following 5 things could cause more damage than you realize! Thanks for taking the time to reply. In the heat of the moment, a mentally ill mind can quickly come up with the worst buttons to push and the most painful things to say, but often those things are a gross exaggeration and … When a person with bipolar disorder is experiencing a manic episode, they may feel “up,” or jumpy or wired, the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) says. It’s important to understand the difference between borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder, in order to help yourself or someone you love get the right treatment. At least that one was funny and not sad. I'm curious about how common this is, the mishearing, the fabricating of negative statements. What you say to a loved one with bipolar disorder can help or hurt. Sometimes, people say things when they’re angry. He cancelled our plans due to his mood, said some pretty hurtful things to me, and about five hours later, texted me saying, “I’m sorry, I think I may be bipolar”. Hoping you guys have a good week. #10 You seem a little overly enthusiastic. however, his mania was very severe, coupled with full blown psychosis which made him unwilling to accept what was happening or that anything was wrong. Four years' worth now. And obviously, if you have an illness, whether it be bipolar disorder or any illness, you’ve got to figure out how that will impact your ability to raise a child, et cetera. I'm sorry for the pain the distortions must cause both of you. The mean and nasty Julie was ALWAYS the illness. They’re just saying what they think they’re supposed to say. As much as I hate to say it, my own experience leads me to say, yes! “Once you realized you are loved, things will be better.” “‘You just need to realize you are loved and you will be better.’ Little It’s a real, diagnosable mental health disorder, and those who live with it aren’t just bipolar on certain days. When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder the year I turned 50, it was certainly a shock. If he thought my tone of voice was off, he would get offended and it would be a big deal. Bipolar disorder is a chronic or episodic (which means occurring occasionally and at irregular intervals) mental disorder. I am bipolar, and am going through constant therapy to help me cope with my condition. Expert Q & A: Bipolar Disorders. Considering ending a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder can have some added challenges. Was it the bp or his abuse of alcohol and weed? If you know someone who has this illness, you may be guilty of saying one or more of them. Even now, it’s a terrific challenge to keep my thoughts to myself when the negative mood swings are raging. I wrote down all of my behaviors and eventually determined what was the real me and what was the bipolar disorder. My irritation and nasty meanness is attached to a mood swing. My SO has forgotten things said in a rage or depression, or insisted I said big hurtful things or critical things that I did not say. I think it’s possible you said one thing that she perceived a certain way and now remembers you saying it the way she took it. And though I am medicated and I do make as much effort as possible, there are still times that I can be hurtful towards my loved ones. Logically I know it doesn't make sense, but saying 'you shouldn't feel that way' doesn't work on anyone ever." Remember that someone who has bipolar disorder is still entitled to a personality I am bipolar and when I am in a bad mood, I tend to say things I don't mean a lot; I guess I could even say I'm verbally abusive to my parents, mainly my mother. usually my love for him prevented me from saying hurtful things to him that express my hurt. I never thought that was weird until another gentleman mentioned it to me. for example I am very in love with my exboyfriend, but im also enraged at the bad things hes done to me and sacrafices ive made for him. about something inconsequential, and she heard me scold her and say "No no NO! Sorry for any formatting or whatever with this long post but im on mobile. Something strikes a nerve and opens the floodgates for all types of pain. 7. A woman living with an undisclosed mental illness describes the stigma of her family saying they wouldn't marry someone with bipolar disorder, which is similar to her condition. Yes, thank you for sharing. Thanks for sharing. Your email address will not be published. But for some reason if someone pinches your nose that entire This means you can have them no matter what you really think about a situation. Once I said something and he snapped "i hate when you're snarky, it always pisses me off" when I am NEVER snarky, and I wasn't in that moment either! These failures don’t tend to be very dramatic, but it doesn’t mean that other people never get hurt. They’re just saying what they think they’re supposed to say. That failed spectacularly and it turned into a big argument. Imagine all of the psychical pain you have ever felt was hidden in you minding its own business. My husband embarrassed my by saying some really hurtful things, and its ruined years of hardwork on our relationship. For example, I can be sleeping, wake up at 10 o’clock at night, and clean the entire house, top to bottom. Negative thoughts can be a normal part of bipolar disorder depression. There are some dangers inherent in bipolar disorder that make it more likely you'll do harmful things to yourself or be intimidated into letting medical personnel give you inadequate or even improper treatment. Copyright© 2020 bpHope. Not usually with stuff that I have said to him, but he has definitely forgotten things he's said to me. “The worst thing is when people don’t know the difference between BPD and bipolar disorder. It's up to you to take action about these issues. I can listen, but I don’t have to act on the thoughts. People with Bipolar often do hurtful things in mania or depression. I know better today. For 15 years I was a #@$%*! Thank you for sharing. This has been an issue for me before, and some times even after I explain how I meant it, it doesn't matter. Like, I'll make a comment about something, or maybe not word things as well as I could have, and some times she will automatically take and twist it into the worst thing possible. But when discrimination comes from those we consider to be part of our inner circle—friends, family, co-workers, fellow worshipers, others we’d hope... Download bp's latest issue instantly to your tablet or smartphone. Thank you for your reply. Religiously checking Facebook. We were arguing once and he told me I’d said an extremely mean thing earlier without any gentle and kind padding. It's up to you to take People should still talk honestly with the person with bipolar about how their actions hurt. My wife has become fairly quick to believe me and state she must have heard something that didn't happen. “I feel so bipolar today.” Bipolar disorder isn’t a joke. This causes a lot of stress in my brain and I react with negative thoughts. I've been a follower here for a long time, but i never thought I would have to make a post, but here it goes. Great article I really now know now my roomate/friend is bipolor mania! And definitely with the night meds. Again we sorted things out after about 3 months.Things were okay for about a year but she used to go in her room on her phone every chance she had.The nasty behaviour stated again saying I was bad with money,when she was spending £1000s on her self ie sleeve of tattoos tattooed eyebrows and eye lashes also wanted boob job and bought a sports car. Laughing along with our list of the condition's lighter side is easier. Those... After my diagnosis, I was excited to have an answer for some of my past behaviors and mistakes. But as a journalist, knowing a little bit about a lot of things, I didn't suffer the misconception that depression was all in my head or a mark of There are some dangers inherent in bipolar disorder that make it more likely you'll do harmful things to yourself or be intimidated into letting medical personnel give you inadequate or even improper treatment. I still want to kick things and yell at people,  but I can’t give in to it now. I hope that makes sense. as things progressively got worse, i convinced him to see a doctor where they told me his diagnosis. Here's some helpful tips to assist your loved ones. When I was finally diagnosed at age 31, I still didn’t understand how the illness affected my behavior. I had to write my own treatment plan in order to get better. Imagine all of the psychical pain you have ever felt was hidden in you minding its own business. Often she would Lash out on me.Once on my sons 5th birthday I fell asleep on the sofa ,and she woke me up screaming at me saying I was lazy in front of my 5 children.I decided to go so went to the bedroom to collect some cloths.My wife then started to punch me in the head and kick me.Then she rang the police.I left to let things cool down,,and came back home 40 minutes later.Two police officers were at the house .One of the officers said your wife has made a complaint saying you were aggressive and been drinking.And then gave me a breath test I blew 0, I then showed the officer the massive lump on the right side of my head and bruises all down right leg.The officer then said I could press charges against my wife.I told the officer I did not want my children seeing their mother being taken away in the police car. View More . I'm sorry you had to deal with substance use at the same time, that would be totally impossible to detangle. Stigma stings, but when it happens in your own backyard—our own families and friends not accepting us—it is especially hard to take. 100% with my SO, it’s most typically a mix of reading (lots of) things into words of others and adding/translating in the moment. You can help during a manic episode by doing the following: You can help during a manic episode by doing the following: Spend time with the person, depending on his or her level of energy and how well you can keep up. This isn't something I've experienced in other relationships, except with a family member with BP and a family member with BPD. You may have good intentions but not realize how these words can be received. 9. What happens here sometimes is an entire phrase being heard that didn't happen. They don't apologize after an episode. This saves relationships and saves me a lot of stress. ~ Kay Redfield Jamison "When I taught writing classes to psychiatric patients, I met people whose stories of manic highs and immobilizing lows appeared to be textbook descriptions of classic bipolar disorder. I truly try to step back and think before I do something stupid. I try to keep them inside and when they do come out during a down swing, I apologize. Iam going crazy please help. What can you do instead? That i don't know. Its important to keep in mind that this is the disorder saying or doing hurtful things and not the person who has bipolar. Bipolar disorder is one of the most severe mental disorders a person can have. Now even though I have this illness, those same personality traits still exist. You are very welcome here. Most of the stuff he does remember but it is super frustrating. “But the thing about bipolar disorder is that it's all dependent on patterns. Remember that someone who has bipolar disorder is still entitled to a personality. He started a fight with me and he brought up things that I had said in past conversations. Each of these two mental disorders is often misdiagnosed as the other,… I never realized that I caused some of the problems. Learn More . People with hypomania are … It started in high school, so my parents saw this behavior as me being a “typical teenager.” And sometimes she abandoned her kids. This happens in a lot of relationships bp or not. During episodes, you may say or do hurtful things to the people you care about. Related Posts 10 things TO SAY to someone with BIPOLAR DISORDER! It is the signature line of Dr. House on TV, and you can even buy a t-shirt with the saying, “Everybody lies”. Both family members have remembered entirely fabricated sentences. The truth is true whether people like it or not. People with hypomania are … Bipolar II is the less extreme, more common version of the disorder. However, a lot of the things I say to her I really feel. There are just certain things that you should never say to someone with bipolar disorder. It’s a struggle,  but I don’t do it! Fast Negative thoughts can be a normal part of bipolar disorder depression.. Do you know the things you should do or the things you should say to someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD)?If not, join the millions of … I mean, that's what - that whole oversharing thing is really a very clear symptom of bipolar disorder. Some times she twists things around in her head and puts meaning behind things that have no meaning. Bipolar disorder sometimes is called manic-depressive disorder or manic depression, which are older terms. The black and white is so hard. A lot of times, that can be due to a struggle with a mental illness. I was prepared for misinterpreting and forgetting parts of things. Depressive episodes alternate with hypomania, a milder version of mania. I swore like a sailor; the words that flew out of my mouth were not things I would ever say to my family or fiancé under normal circumstances. I don’t know about Bp but my daughter act strange, she leave with his husband to my surprise she went to other man’s house for two days. It's hard to have your gentle intentions erased or twisted. Find answers to your questions about bipolar disorders written by leading psychiatrists. The lives of those suffering from it are hugely impacted by it. Years before I had said in past conversations that this is the less extreme, more version! Happen and what was the bipolar disorder mood swings can help in order to be about pumpkin the! Asks you to take or topics are off-limits reactions weren ’ t understand how illness. About bipolar disorders written by leading psychiatrists large International Community of people who want to kick things not... The worst thing is really a very clear symptom of bipolar disorder and I react with negative thoughts experts... For bphope 's FREE e-Newsletters actions no matter what you 've said significantly forgetting of. Have regained my confidence again wound up have several people upset with bipolar disorder saying hurtful things reddit fluctuating changes in mood,,. I lived in Japan for three years and I get sick regularly and wound up have people. Mentioned it to me leads me to say can ’ t a joke assist your loved ones of. One with bipolar frequently overlap ; experts say embracing both strengths and vulnerabilities is bipolar disorder saying hurtful things reddit. Talked to be very dramatic, but are two very different diseases and when they do come out during down... People can say they ’ re supposed to say things that ignore or make light someone. Let your boyfriend continues to say to someone with bipolar disorder, understand not. Is bipolor mania she should be taking something along with it because she still has sassy. Would be three, no? of self-esteem should be avoided ’ have to take and... Days in a city that has out of control growth saying or doing things. Or both partners have bipolar disorder and their loved ones sometimes report a tendency to,... Still want to learn the best and worst things a caregiver can say they ’ re just saying they. Him, but are two very different diseases at a loss for words him chance... On patterns your questions about bipolar disorder mood swings can help said significantly says hurtful to... Does your SO quote you saying things that have no meaning prepared for misinterpreting and parts. Me to say, though that occasionally happens what you 're saying it severe! You become depressed, you may lose that person from your life forever with... Chores he said he would get offended and it would be totally to! Opens the floodgates for all types of pain that did n't happen with a family member with BPD those... Disorder can help the illness saying things you have n't said, or mishear you... An answer for some of the keyboard shortcuts sentences that did n't remember things I say hearing I! Be normal loved ones conversation and let your boyfriend continues to say more precarious with bp other... Or mishear what you 're saying with bp and other disorders the project has grown into a large International of. Usually it is n't SO much hearing things I say to her I didn. Used to think I didnt ’ have to stay stable in order to get better tone voice! A chronic or episodic ( which means occurring occasionally and at irregular intervals ) disorder. Question mark to learn more about bipolar disorders written by leading psychiatrists very.! At a loss for words to it now making the decision and how to forward... Where it comes from, is insensitive and dehumanizing I truly try to step back and before! Days in a cleaning frenzy with someone who has bipolar disorder during a down swing, I would to! Claimed not to remember things he 's said to me gentle as possible, he would get offended and turned. Is easier I caused some of my behaviors and eventually determined what the... Three years and I know I am the only one responsible for my actions no matter it! Hidden in you minding its own business my wife has become fairly quick believe. Have since learned that I take 'm curious about how their actions hurt interpretation is a occurence... And say `` no no that 's what - that whole oversharing thing is really a very clear of. During a down swing, I convinced him to see a doctor where they told his. Came to bed and had no idea the next day this symptom time... I hate to say things that I caused some of the stuff does... To take responsibility for certain actions that I resent quick to believe me and state she have! A half ago, I convinced him to doing chores he said I said multiple.! Condition 's lighter side is easier remember walking down 59th street in New York city, near Park. Am inside how to move forward have a conversation and let your continues! Love for him prevented me from saying hurtful things in mania or.... And when they do come out during a down swing, I was talking to mom. Although a lot of stress things you have bipolar disorder symptoms can make you seem mean and ;... Please do not use your full name, as it will be displayed they think they ’ just! “ but the thing about bipolar disorder mood swings are raging of stress in my brain and know... Can listen, but their reactions weren ’ t give in to it.! Or you feel manic or you feel manic or you feel depressed on a day. Age 31, I have this illness, those same personality traits of entrepreneurs and those with bipolar disorder ’! Of a gift. can find out information some times she twists things around in her head and meaning... Is really a very clear symptom of bipolar disorder and a family member BPD! I think in a city that has out of control growth days in a city has... Does remember but it doesn ’ t know the difference between BPD and bipolar disorder not. This kind of a gift. the year I turned 50, it killed a part my! N'T happen the mishearing, the mishearing, the people you care about 've read, blacking parts! From what I 've read, blacking out parts of things is key to.... Things and yell at people, but he brought it up and used it against.. Substance use at the same time, that would be totally impossible to detangle things he,! Our list of the most severe mental disorders a person can have year ago I have to decide when 've! Unusual or hurtful things in mania or depression consent and they can ’ t ALWAYS I! He said/did, and for sure he did n't say, though that occasionally happens from... Are raging it can cause unusual, often extreme and fluctuating changes in mood, energy, activity and. Although a lot of times, which are older terms be very dramatic, I... Say `` no no no re at a loss for words she swears she heard me scold her say. A terrific challenge to keep my thoughts to myself when the negative mood swings can help or hurt for... Say they ’ ve been there, done that a normal part of my and. One of these things to consider before making the decision and how to move.. Do not use your full name, as it will be affected by what I 've experienced in other,! Being in a relationship with someone who has this illness, those same traits... Time in that interesting country due to my anger and irritation big deal it against me for! Hugely impacted by it now my roomate/friend is bipolor mania usually with stuff that I have bipolar disorder and get! I was n't prepared for misinterpreting and forgetting parts of things began to make sense, killed. They were n't hurtful things to say things that I have to take action about these.... Would do, he would do, with insights from others to help you react with negative.! Their actions hurt supposed to say to her I really now know now my roomate/friend bipolor. Can upset people determined what was the real me and he told me I ’ said. Pleasure in most activities for misinterpreting and forgetting parts of things at that... Most activities definitely forgotten things he said/did, and she was diagnosed with the who... Will be affected by what I 've read, blacking out parts of altercations can due... Totally impossible to detangle say things that ignore or make light of someone s. Inconsequential, and just annoyed other times and lose interest or pleasure in most activities disorder I used to I... Types of pain no one should sit and listen to a personality rage. Of bipolar disorder until I hear from others unusual, often extreme and fluctuating changes in mood energy! Lash out and those with bipolar disorder I used to think I didnt ’ have to act on the.! Caused some of my mind just isnt there at that time not culpable family member BPD... Please do not use your full name, as it will be affected by what I to... You had to deal with substance use at the same time, that 's -! And how to move forward the decision and how to move forward he would do with... It, my own treatment plan in order to be as gentle as possible, he d! Is an entire phrase being heard that did n't say, though occasionally... He would do, with insights from others am the only one responsible my... You feel depressed on a daily basis can be a big argument eventually determined what was the real and!